It Started One Night
Recently, the kids were arguing. They were pinching and doing the “he hit me,” “she touched me,” and I snapped. I yelled at them, they looked at me and sweetly responding my request. After a while, I wanted my husband to chime in, to stand alongside me to echo what I was communicating. As a matter of fact, he looked at me quietly, watching me make a fool of myself. Upset, I walked to bed. I was annoyed and boycotted. I showed them.
The Following Morning
The following morning, the joy of punishing him resided. I sought confrontation, assuming he would wrap me in his arms and share his fault. He would share that the communication had broke down and he empathized my upset. Yet, I found I had been mistaken. He instead spoke his thoughts of the previous night. I assumed he would agree that I had been justified, that I was rationale, but he spoke anything but. I echoed my words about the kids’ behavior. Yet, he shared annoyance in the lack of control I had in the way I spoke. What? He wasn’t suppose to give me this response.
Call Me Crazy
Following this conversation, I felt disappointed. I planned it out differently in my head. I had become so focused on how I felt he ought to respond, that I missed what he was communicating. I selfishly found that I was so caught in what I expected that I lost sight of what was occurring. My husband was communicating as I had sought so many times; he was communicating with a calm spirit, comforting me with his words as he gently explained his thoughts and I didn’t recognize it. I had become completely blind by what I felt in that moment of annoyance of the kids’ bickering that I lost sight of his presence. Ironically, he was demonstrating love to me in a way I needed most. He spoke words of articulation, choosing the right moment to share his heart.
We’re Figuring it Out
Marriage is hard, we certainly don’t have it perfected. Yet, I’m constantly learning that it is a learning process. When I think I have it figured out, I don’t. What I do know is it’s worth the work. Encourage your man, pray for him though you’d rather annoy him for his lack. We stunk at communication for years which effected other areas of our marriage. We’re learning and will continue to learn. Hang in there, friends.