Prior to becoming a mom I imagined it’d be this
beautiful time of togetherness, love, and sweet moments. We sang our thoughts, shared our emotions freely and enjoyed each others’ company always; it fit more the description from the Sound of Music minus the guitar and coordinated curtain outfits.
I’m 8 years in on this mom-venture. Holy moly, this task God enabled me to do is hard, let me say it, it’s hard! We all have our story, the details that make us US.
I’m such a worker, I work long hours, I have no shame in it but I do find my struggle is sitting to play, to enjoy. It’s embarrassing to admit, but yes, I struggle to sit and play. There it is, it’s out. Exhale, another not perfect mom. But, as this information I know about myself, I too know it’s something I am growing in. But if like me, knowing you’re simply not good at something is often difficult for the mind to know.
I began reading recently to learn from other mamas and found one thing consistent, we’re all different and that’s the consistency. There isn’t one right, perfect way. Heck, I struggle with this. Am I working too much? Will all they remember that I worked? Will they have any good childhood memories? She doesn’t do it like me…those kids seem so much happier than mine. Why, why, why?
Well, I didn’t pick up a guitar and wore my best Julie Andrews’ smile, but this week I worked to do three things as I prepared for this post, hope it encourages if not makes you feel a little better.
1.Get a way from YOU, talk to someone else about THEM.
There’s a bit in all of us that love to have others talk about US, but often dwelling in ourselves makes us think inwardly more. Make effort to talk to someone you wouldn’t or haven’t. Ask about them, take time to listen. There’s a bit in many of us who melt when asked about them, myself included. For me, I feel valued, my story important, and for that moment, meaningful. It’s a common human factor, we all want to feel valued.
2.Everyone has a bad day, be graceful with yourself. Period.
3.You are you, you’re not anyone else; be the best YOU. Get over it.
I heard it once that we often compare our worse to another’s best, if doing this, we’ll never be fair to ourself. Celebrate who you are.
4.Other mama’s are not a threat, use them as a resource.
Indirect or direct learning from other moms is a valuable resource, learn from them, talk to them. I’ve spoken to a few moms and even those that seem to penetrate only confidence worry that they are often not enough.
5.Work to find time daily to stretch yourself where you are weak;
for me, it meant putting my phone away and playing with them. It meant not playing for the moment to state I’ve completed the task. It meant being silly, it seems so obvious but I find just how much I fight relaxing to do this after having not done this in some time. Serious. I do have to admit, the kids and I turned on the Pandora aloud the other day and had a dance party…and it felt good. I pulled out my faux guitar, donned my Julie Andrews’ persona, and sang with the clang of pots, pans, and my breakdancing son alongside me.
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